


Everything You Did

by eprime



Category: Harry Potter - Rowling
Genre: D/s, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2010-05-18
Updated: 2010-05-18
Packaged: 2017-10-09 13:41:34
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,639
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/88086
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/eprime/pseuds/eprime
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Post-Hogwarts. The boys learn something about themselves. It could make all the difference.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Everything You Did

1.

"Look, Remus!"

"I'd really rather not."

"But look at the way he's kitted out," Sirius yelled over the loud music of the club.

Remus twisted around to take a quick glance, knowing Sirius wouldn't shut up otherwise.

"Yes, I see. He must be sweltering. It's really hot in here," Remus complained, wondering if Sirius would let them go home yet.

Sirius grimaced in annoyance.

"That's all you've got to say? What's hot is that bloke in his leathers."

"That's what I just said," Remus pointed out.

"You know what I mean!"

Unfortunately, Remus did, and now Sirius was going to start in with the begging again. Sighing, he held up his glass and shook the melting ice cubes, swirling the watered-down remains of his drink before tossing it down his throat. Right on cue, Sirius piped up.

"We should go to one of those bars."

"Sirius, I've told you before that those places are for people who are really serious about that kind of thing. You wearing a dog collar as Padfoot when I take you out for walkies on Sunday afternoons is not the same thing."

"Tish tosh," Sirius scoffed. "Don't be such a wet blanket, Moony."

Remus shook his head and laughed.

"I really don't think it will be like what you're expecting."

"Just the once," Sirius wheedled. "Please, Moony."

"Sirius--"

"Please. As a favor to me. Just the once, and I'll owe you."

Sirius circled an arm around Remus' waist and let his chin rest on Remus' shoulder.

"And you can ask any favor of me, as well. Anything you want."

Remus dropped his chin, closing his eyes to stave off the inevitable defeat.

"Moony," Sirius crooned. "If you just say yes we can even go home now and drink tea and act middle-aged."

Remus perked up.

"Really?"

Sirius nodded, bringing his other arm around Remus and swaying them both to the loud beat thrumming through the room.

"And there will hot baths, and books, and sexy times."

Remus moaned happily.

"And you'll owe me a favor, a really big one?" Remus clarified, fixing Sirius with a suspicious look.

"I promise," Sirius swore.

"All right, then," Remus said. "Just the once."

 

2.

Sirius was bounding around the room like a puppy, from the wardrobe to the mirror to the bed to cast off the latest rejected item of clothing. The bedspread was completely obscured by the pile of clothes.

"Sirius, why don't you just wear those jeans and a plain white t-shirt, like I said. That and your leather jacket will be fine."

"That seems so plain," Sirius fretted. "Do you really think so?

Remus hadn't seen Sirius this excited in a quite some time, and while it was amusing in a way, Sirius was also driving him 'round the bend with his sugar high-like antics.

"Your boots will spice it up a bit," Remus assured him.

Sirius beamed.

"Yes, of course. Ta, Moony!"

Sirius sat down and struggled into his well-beloved motorcycle boots then reached over and fumbled through his nightstand drawer.

"Here we go!"

Holding Padfoot's collar aloft, he grinned at Remus and buckled it around his neck, adjusting it so the brass tag hung properly in the hollow of his throat.

"How do I look?"

Sirius was half sprawled back on the bed, grinning up at Remus. He looked extremely shaggable; shirtless, long legs splayed in arrogant carelessness, and the black collar around the pale skin of his throat made quite an effect.

Remus wasn't going to give him the satisfaction of knowing that, though, not at this point anyway.

"I hope you're going to put on a shirt," was all he said.

Sirius' smirk said he wasn't fooled, but he got up anyway and dug a white shirt out of his trunk.

"We're going to have fun tonight," he insisted as he pulled the shirt over his head. "You promised to make an effort."

"And I will," Remus said. He held out Sirius' jacket and helped him shrug into it then stepped back and surveyed him with a critical eye.

Sirius, of course, struck a pose and cocked an eyebrow at a rakish angle as if to say, "Well?"

"Very fetching." Remus allowed a warm grin to stretch across his face. "I hope you know what you're getting into."

Sirius laughed.

"Half the fun is not knowing, Moony. You should get that by now."

"Maybe I should bring the leash as well," Remus threatened.

"You think I wouldn't let you?" Sirius asked, amused.

"If I really wanted to, Sirius..." Remus stepped closer, holding Sirius' gaze, and run a finger up under the edge of the collar. "It wouldn't be a matter of you letting me."

Sirius' eyes widened and his lips parted the tiniest bit. Remus leaned in and placed a light kiss there and just the barest flick of tongue. Sirius' mouth opened more, his eyes fluttering shut as he leaned in toward Remus.

"Let's go, Sirius," Remus murmured, pulling away and smiling at Sirius' disgruntled pout.

Sirius grinned stepped up next to Remus as they headed through the door.

"What's gotten into you, and what have you done with my uptight Mr. Moony?"

"Just getting into the spirit of things," Remus said nonchalantly.

"Brilliant!" Sirius exclaimed. "Will you let me transfigure your clothes, then? Just for the night?"

"No," Remus said firmly. "I already told you I am _not_ wearing leather trousers."

 

3.

 

"Why do they all have moustaches? I don't like moustaches, Moony."

Remus stifled a laugh as Sirius tried to edge even closer to Remus' reassuring warmth.

"Promise me you'll never grow one."

"Only when I've a long flowing beard like Dumbledore to match," Remus promised.

"Where are you going?"

Sirius grabbed at Remus' sleeve as he shifted away from the bar and felt around in his pockets.

"I'm not going anywhere, was just going to have a smoke."

He retrieved the pack and shook one out toward Sirius.

"Want one?"

"No. I mean, yes."

Sirius grabbed at it.

"Relax, why don't you." Remus placed a cigarette between his lips and flicked his lighter, allowing the both of them to lean in and use the flame.

"Just don't leave me alone to go to the loo again," Sirius said.

"I'm not going anywhere."

Remus regarded Sirius with exasperated, but fond amusement. He looked a little easier now that he had something to do with his hands. Rarely had he seen Sirius so jumpy. With an admirable display of self-control, Remus had refrained in the past hour from saying, 'I told you so'.

"I feel like a piece of meat," Sirius complained.

"You are," Remus said, grinning wickedly. "Fresh meat. And they all want to get their hooks into you."

"Shut it." Sirius glared, huddling closer to Remus anyway.

Obligingly, Remus slid his free hand around Sirius' side and gave him a comforting squeeze.

"You don't mind being ogled by all the blokes at the usual clubs we go to."

"That's different."

"How so?"

"Because everyone is dancing and drinking and having a laugh, not just lined up looking absolutely frightful and menacing!"

Scowling, Sirius flicked his barely started cigarette to the floor and ground it beneath the toe of his boot. Remus chuckled.

"Menacing? This from someone who has regular run-ins with Death Eaters?"

"At least they don't want to shag me," Sirius muttered into Remus' ear. "Ergh, I sincerely hope not anyway. Thanks for _that_ thought, Moony."

"Admit it, Sirius. You were imagining everyone here to be as young and pretty as you are."

Sirius lifted his chin, refusing to admit anything, and Remus grinned, squeezing his side again.

"I don't think it's that bad, actually. No really," he continued as Sirius snorted.

"Some of what I've seen has been quite...enlightening."

Narrowing his eyes, Sirius cast a sidelong look at Remus.

"Like what?"

Remus finished off his cigarette before answering, twisting around to stub it in the ashtray behind him. Then he tugged Sirius more securely against him, and turned his head so he could speak directly into Sirius' ear. Sirius' soft, clean smelling hair brushed against Remus' cheek and he inhaled, moving his hand from Sirius' waist to the back of his neck.

"Do you see that table in the corner, just past the hallway to the loo?"

Sirius looked with a surreptitious flick of his eyes and nodded.

"That boy, the one who's been kneeling there so properly all this time..." Remus' thumb brushed across Sirius' nape below the collar. "_He's_ pretty enough, don't you think? Not a candle to you, but pretty enough."

"You--" Sirius darted out a tongue to wet his lips a little. "You think so?"

"I do," Remus murmured. "Mostly because he's been so _good_. Look at him."

Remus was kneading the back of Sirius' neck now, slowly soothing motions that resulted in Sirius melting against him. Sirius was staring at the table now, under his lashes, trying to be discreet and looking unknowingly coy. Seductive.

"Perfect posture. Eyes on the floor. No fidgeting." Remus let his lips graze Sirius' ear as he spoke. "So obedient."

The beginnings of a flush was slowly creeping up Sirius' throat and across his cheekbones, and he had pulled his lower lip between his teeth, worrying it unconsciously. Remus' fingers stilled but they pressed harder, emphasizing his words.

"I can picture you like that, Sirius."

The tremor that flowed through Sirius was subtle, but Remus felt it through his fingertips and his side where Sirius was pressed so closely.

"I can picture you on your knees just like that," Remus murmured. "For me."

Sirius' breath hitched and he took another breath as if to say something, the color still high across his cheeks.

"You know they made me a prefect in hopes I'd keep you and James in line. Of course, I failed miserably. At the time, I just wasn't able or willing to rein you in."

His fingers moved again, tapping a light rhythm over Sirius' collar.

"But I think I am ready now."

"Remus," Sirius finally breathed, tilting his eyes up toward Remus' for the briefest moment. He looked shaken, uncertain and utterly turned on.

"You've no idea how many times I imagined forcing you to behave. Imagined you doing as I said or facing the consequences."

Remus tugged at the back of the collar almost absentmindedly and laughed softly. "Remember McGonagall saying you should be kept on a leash? She always was a very discerning woman."

Now Remus was threading his hand through the back of Sirius' hair and twisting gently, just enough to bring Sirius' chin up so their eyes met and held. Sirius' pupils were blown wide, the grey of his eyes barely visible and Remus smiled.

"But we don't need that now, do we? Not unless we _want_," Remus amended, his smile curling hot around the edges and sending another tremor through Sirius. "Because you'll be good. You will be good for me, won't you Sirius? Be my good boy?"

The rise and fall of Sirius' chest grew more rapid and Sirius flushed again, but his Gryffindor spirit rose and he continued to meet Remus' eyes, though his voice came out thick and hoarse.

"Yes, I..." he faltered just a moment as Remus watched his lips shaping the words. "I want to be."

The rush almost sent Remus reeling, and he was thankful he was still mostly leaning against the bar. He dug back a little harder letting the mundane pain from the uncomfortable railing ground him in the moment, hardly believing that his beautiful, arrogant, impossible Sirius had actually spoken those words.

"Part of me," Remus said slowly, choosing his words with care. "Part of me wants to have you right here. Wants you kneeling like a dirty little angel at my feet, silent and perfect, while I finish my drink and everyone here can admire you."

Sirius shivered, his breath lodging in his throat again, while Remus studied his wide eyes, the almost imperceptible sway of his body toward Remus, the apprehension and arousal rolling off him like waves of heat. He wondered if Sirius would really even consider it.

"But I want to fuck you too badly." Remus' voice was low and he leaned even closer to whisper. "And that's not for anyone else to see."

Sirius made a sound that went right through Remus, shredding the fabric of his restraint and wordlessly he pulled Sirius out of the bar, onto the streets, and apparated them from the nearest dark corner.

They appeared and took a staggering step, reaching to steady and ending up facing each other, breathless and somewhat stunned. It really shouldn't have surprised Remus that Sirius gathered himself first, jumped headlong into the latest unknown with heedless abandon.

The jolt of lust and awed admiration that shot through Remus when Sirius dropped gracefully to his knees in front of him was unspeakably heady. His legs wanted to wobble like rubber and he had to concentrate on keeping them steady as Sirius trailed his hands down his thighs. And then he was...oh, God...

Sirius was bending lower, black hair pooling on the floor as he brushed his lips, just barely, over the tops of Remus' shoes. It was too much, too much, and Remus could hardly see, hardly breathe. And, God, he couldn't possibly deserve this...this kind of trust and vulnerability.

Half-terrified, he must have made some sound because Sirius knelt up and looked at him with an expression that made Remus' heart leap into his chest. Sirius was scared, as well, he could see that easily, but there was so much more there flickering in his eyes. Remus couldn't, wouldn't, pull away from the tug of that emotion.

Wanting to praise and nurture that bravery, that trust, Remus knelt in front of him. Carding his hands in Sirius' hair he pulled him in, kissing him the way he'd been dying to do all night, breathing words into lips and temples and hair.

"Sirius." His voice was embarrassingly husky, but Remus didn't care. He pushed Sirius' jacket off his shoulders and down his arms and he spread one hand across his chest, feeling the rapid beat of Sirius' heart beneath the thin shirt. "Good. You're so good." And then his fingers were twisting in the collar, lifting his chin and pulling his mouth closer to bite and lick and claim. "Beautiful," he breathed. "My Sirius."

Sirius moaned, giving gorgeously to every tug and bite and touch that Remus gave him. Remus didn't want to ever stop touching him. He wanted to shove him down to the bare floor and cover every inch of his perfect skin with his touch and mark and scent and watch Sirius writhe beneath him. He was making a muck of this, he knew. He wasn't anything like those blokes at the bar, hadn't the foggiest idea what he was really meant to be doing here. Only, he knew the sight, the reality, of Sirius being so pliant, so willing, trying so hard to be good...

Fuck those other blokes. Fuck what he was supposed to do. Remus only knew what he wanted right now.

"Sirius," he finally gasped, dragging his mouth away and willing his heart to settle its frantic pounding. "I want you to touch yourself. I want to watch you, with your hand around your cock."

One hand still clutching the collar, he reached between Sirius' spread legs and rubbed his palm against the hard bulge there. Sirius bit back a groan, hips pushing involuntarily into Remus' open palm.

"I want you to look at me, and I want you to think about...about being mine. My good boy."

With a last squeeze he pulled back, watching Sirius and the way his lashes fluttered as he took a steadying breath.

"Do it now," he whispered, watching mesmerized as Sirius did as he was told. He didn't offer any other instructions as Sirius met his eyes and reached down to free his cock from his jeans, gasping in relief as it was released from the tight confinement.

They'd wanked in front of each other before, of course, but this felt so very different. Remus hardly knew where to look. He wanted to watch the flicker of expressions across Sirius' face. Wanted to watch his fist make the glistening head of his cock appear and disappear with carnal magic again and again. Wanted to see the pulse thrum in the vein of Sirius' throat.

Sirius was making little sounds that sounded like choked off whimpers. His back was straight, shoulders pulled back tight with the tension humming through him as he kept his gaze locked on Remus. The thin fabric of his shirt was pulled tight across his chest and Remus couldn't resist reaching out to rub the ball of his thumb over the hard nub of Sirius' nipple.

The resulting moan made Remus' cock throb in sympathy.

"Remus," Sirius gasped, eyes going wide as he struggled against the need to squeeze them shut as he got closer and closer to coming.

"You should see what you look like," Remus said, flicking his thumbnail this time across the stiffened nipple and feeling Sirius jerk. "Kneeling...legs spread...jeans half undone...cock in hand...that fucking collar around your throat."

Sirius let another moan slip and the rhythm of his strokes faltered for a moment.

"You look like you were made for this. Like there's nothing in the world you need more than being held down and fucked until you can't remember your name."

"_Oh_", Sirius groaned. "Remus, please..."

"I want to see you come," Remus whispered. He reached up, his fingers brushing against Sirius' parted lips, trailing them over his chin and down his throat to play with the front ring of the collar. Sirius' climax shuddered through him and he fell against Remus, panting hot, harsh breaths against Remus' shoulder, twisting his fingers tightly in the sleeves of his shirt.

Remus held Sirius until the tremors stopped, petting and stroking his hair and back, and murmuring a litany of praise and approval.

 

4.

Sirius was sitting on the floor, leaning back against the armchair in front of the hearth when Remus got home, and he was holding his collar in his hands. Remus was surprised to see him like this, was surprised to see him in the flat at all.

"Do you remember when we went to that bar. The first time we ever really did anything like this."

His fingers stroked over the leather of his collar, and Remus tried to swallow down the lump burning in his chest.

"Of course I do."

"I remember how much I trusted you. How safe and good you made me feel. How sometimes I just liked to sit here while you'd read or we'd chat about anything, and your fingers would be stroking through my hair, and that always calmed me down when I was feeling like I didn't fit into my skin."

"I remember, too," Remus said softly.

"It was always, everything you did, just what I needed."

"Sirius," whispered Remus, blinking back the prickling in his eyes.

"I can't. I can't believe that all of that meant nothing."

Remus doesn't--can't--say anything to that. They've gone over so many times what things have meant. Do mean. Will mean. Except the possibility of a future tense had dwindled to the barest sliver with the arrival of Autumn and the turning leaves.

Except Sirius was asking him to say something now, asking with the look in his eyes and the slight trembling of his fingers. And maybe it would end badly again, with Sirius storming out and Remus staring at nothing in a darkening flat, but Remus wouldn't pass up the opportunity to try one more time.

"I haven't changed, Sirius," he said. He moved closer and folded to his knees in front of him, staring down at his twisted hands. "I'm the same as I ever was. If you..." He swallowed, fighting to keep his voice steady. "If you ever believed that I loved you, that I was worth trusting...then please trust me now."

Remus forced himself to look at Sirius.

"Nothing's changed. For me. I don't...I don't understand why it's changed for you--what I've done that would make you--"

He flinches from the look in Sirius' eyes and takes a shuddering breath.

"I'm sorry. I'm sorry for whatever it is, and if you'll just _tell_ me." Remus's voice came out raw and wounded. "I'll do anything. _Anything_."

But, oh, Sirius' face was so unreadable now, where before his eyes had never held secrets from Remus.

"Will you tell me about your missions for the order?"

This again. But Remus was too weary and sorrowful to be angry about being questioned when no one else was, to feel much compunction about oaths and responsibilities that seemed to be achieving nothing but the destruction of all he cared about.

"Yes," he said, watching Sirius' eyes widen in shock. "I'll tell you everything, but will it matter, Sirius? I could still be lying. If that's what you think I've been doing, what makes you think I'll stop doing that now?"

The tears were back, pricking at his eyes but not falling and Sirius was frowning, sorrow and anger at war in his expression.

"You have to decide once and for all. Do you trust me or do you not?"

The silence stretched between for long minutes until Remus nodded, his body and spirit sagging in defeat. He managed to haul himself to his feet, needing to get out, away, anywhere but the central, shattered ruins of his life.

"Moony." Sirius' hoarse voice stopped him, and then he was standing and pulling Remus around to face him.

"There's something I need to tell you."


End file.
